The Anxiety No One Sees But You Feel Every Day

High-functioning anxiety can look like:

• Overthinking even simple decisions
• Always preparing for worst-case scenarios
• Feeling guilty when you rest
• Feeling like your best is never good enough
• Worrying about disappointing others
• People-pleasing to avoid conflict
• Burnout that returns again and again
• Trouble setting boundaries or saying no

It’s anxiety wrapped in competence, masked by capability, hidden behind “I’m fine.” And it’s exhausting.

Your Anxiety Makes Sense

Many adults who appear calm and capable now were once children who had to hold a lot emotionally or relationally. Maybe you grew up in a family where:

• Your feelings were labeled too much
• You learned to stay agreeable or small
• Success earned approval
• You became the easy child who never rocked the boat
• You felt responsible for keeping peace or stability

You may have also learned early on that staying agreeable kept things calm. That being flexible, helpful, or “low-maintenance” avoided conflict or criticism. Over time, this can create an internal world where asking for support feels uncomfortable, saying no brings guilt, and you worry that your needs might burden others.

These early experiences can lead you to carry constant pressure, work hard to avoid letting others down, and feel responsible for everyone else’s needs.

Your anxiety isn’t a flaw. It’s a long-standing strategy that once kept you safe.

Read more about Dr. Katie DeShields’ approach → Learn More About Me

These early patterns don’t just stay in the past — they shape how anxiety shows up in your relationships, boundaries, and sense of responsibility today. Anxiety-driven people-pleasing often looks like:

• Saying yes when you’re already overwhelmed

• Taking responsibility for how other people feel

• Replaying conversations to make sure you didn’t upset anyone

• Feeling guilty for resting or slowing down

• Feeling intense discomfort at the thought of disappointing someone

For many people, this way of relating to others began long before adulthood. If you grew up being the “easy one,” the helper, or the child who kept the peace, your nervous system learned that being flexible or low-maintenance protected you from conflict, criticism, or unpredictability. People-pleasing became a way to stay safe. Now, that same pattern shows up as boundary guilt, putting others first at your own expense, or fear that your needs will be “too much.”

This isn’t a character flaw. It’s an anxiety-driven pattern your system learned to rely on. Therapy helps you understand where this guilt comes from and begin relating to your needs with more understanding, clarity, and self-trust.

A More Intentional, In-Depth Kind of Support That Helps You Shift Long-Standing Patterns

In therapy, we create space to understand what your anxiety is protecting, holding, or anticipating. Together we explore:

• The pressure you carry internally
• The guilt that appears when you set boundaries
• The parts of you that learned to prioritize others’ comfort over your own
• The parts of you that still brace for criticism or rejection
• The perfectionism that feels impossible to turn off
• The burnout cycle that keeps resurfacing

This work isn’t about fixing you. It’s about helping the anxious part of you feel understood, supported, and less alone.

Learn more about how relationships influence anxiety → Relationship Issues & Attachment Patterns

A More Intentional, In-Depth Kind of Support That Helps You Shift Long-Standing Patterns

You don’t have to keep pushing through the same patterns. Therapy offers space to understand what your anxiety has been trying to protect you from and to learn new ways of relating to it. You’ll learn to meet stress with more understanding and less self criticism, opening the door to a calmer inner world and a life that feels more aligned with who you are.

Call (502) 681-7330 or book a → free 15-minute consultation to take the next step.

Prefer meeting from home or need to meet outside of Kentucky? → Learn more about telehealth therapy.